How To Fly
© by Douglas Adams
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. Having endured as a classic over time and space, it serves as a phenomanal source of inspiration, laughter, satire, strangeness. Obviously, it also boasts a complete and utter lack of seriousness. Or just the opposite.
As a final thought for 2007, here is an excerpt that kindly illustrates one of the last remaining mysteries of the Earth or even the Universe – the art of flying.
Possibly a highly memorable way to start the new year 2008, may it be entertaining and colorful!
__________________________________
There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Pick a nice day, the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy suggests, and try it.
The first part is easy. All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it's going to hurt.
That is, it's going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground. Most people fail to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard.
Clearly, it is the second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties.
One problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally. It's no good deliberately intending to miss the ground because you won't. You have to have your attention suddenly distracted by something else when you're halfway there, so that you are no longer thinking about falling, or about the ground, or about how much it's going to hurt if you fail to miss it.
It is notoriously difficult to prize your attention away from these three things during the split second you have at your disposal. Hence most people's failure, and their eventual disillusionment with this exhilarating and spectacular sport.
If, however, you are lucky enough to have your attention momentarily distracted at the crucial moment by, say, a gorgeous pair of legs (tentacles, pseudopodia, according to phyllum and/or personal inclination) or a bomb going off in your vicinty, or by suddenly spotting an extremely rare species of beetle crawling along a nearby twig, then in your astonishment you will miss the ground completely and remain bobbing just a few inches above it in what might seem to be a slightly foolish manner.
This is a moment for superb and delicate concentration. Bob and float, float and bob. Ignore all consideration of your own weight simply let yourself waft higher. Do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful. They are most likely to say something along the lines of "Good God, you can't possibly be flying!" It is vitally important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right.
Waft higher and higher. Try a few swoops, gentle ones at first, then drift above the treetops breathing regularly.
DO NOT WAVE AT ANYBODY.
When you have done this a few times you will find the moment of distraction rapidly easier and easier to achieve.
You will then learn all sorts of things about how to control your flight, your speed, your maneuverability, and the trick usually lies in not thinking too hard about whatever you want to do, but just allowing it to happen as if it were going to anyway.
You will also learn about how to land properly, which is something you will almost certainly screw up, and screw up badly, on your first attempt.
© Douglas Adams
__________________________________
Douglas Adams
“The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - A Trilogy in Five Parts” in English, ISBN 0517149257
“Per Anhalter durch die Galaxis - 5 Romane in 1 Band” in Deutsch, ISBN 3453209613
“The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - A Trilogy in Five Parts” in English, ISBN 0517149257
“Per Anhalter durch die Galaxis - 5 Romane in 1 Band” in Deutsch, ISBN 3453209613
Andreas Hauser
Posts
